I knew it. I knew that a few people will judge me as arrogant.
Why? Why did I knew that some people will judge I was arrogant?
Let me explain. As you have seen, I have written some posts recently. Many of them are off-topic. And in some of those posts, I have said stuff that people may take offense.
So, what did I specifically say?
This is what I have saidt: Women should tight, and form-fitting clothing; women should wear heels; and buying more expensive clothing would not make you more attractive to men.
But I knew that a few people would misunderstand my writing, and take offense. Here is what I knew that some people would think:
- I knew that some people will think that I am controlling them for telling them what to and what not to wear, all for my selfish pleasure.
- I knew that some people will think I am a controlling misogynist for telling them what to wear, and am a "shallow" guy for judging her worth by her sexual appearance.
- And I knew that some people will think I am arrogant for saying that all women should wear heels, because it is wrong to conclude that not all men like heels just because I (supposedly) like them.
But such thoughts do not accurately reflect me. I never wanted to "control them"; I am not "shallow"; and I am not "arrogant" for telling all women to wear heels.
The thing is, is that I am just giving my opinion of what women should and should not wear. I am actually helping them so they would look more attractive to men. Not to please me, but to attract other men if their intention is to do that. So that was just that. I am just helping some women what or what not to wear, so they do not have to buy so much expensive clothing.
Let us skip this topic for new, and understand what is happening, in the general sense. In general, do people judge people as "controlling" and "arrogant" when it is not the case? Yes, people do often misinterpret opinion as "controlling" or "arrogance."
For example, let us look at a similar case that sparked controversy.
On her blog, a women says that "men should not wear shorts." Here is a quotation:
Men in shorts?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's the short answer about shorts. Men in shorts? No such thing. If you are in shorts, you are not a man. I'll make a small exception for certain sports, or if you are staying at home or in your own yard. But if you're going out in public in a non-sports capacity, put on some pants! This includes the postman!
A lot of men took offense to her words. They thought that the women is "controlling" for telling men not to wear shorts.
Some men were offended by what she have said, and commented to defend themselves:
Sorry, ladies. It's 92 in the shade, and not all that much cooler in my non-air-conditioned office. It's shorts, or nothing.
I'm very apologetic that my gender has put pressure on your gender to wear uncomfortable clothing for our aesthetic pleasure. However, that empathy does not extend to embracing reciprocity.
I don't wear stupid clothes. Long pants in August = stupid clothes.
I honestly can't stand people who bash others just because of what they wear, especially for something as ridiculous as shorts (obviously there are exceptions "cough" cross-dressers "Cough"). Is our society really that superficial nowadays? Two words come to mind, Chill out, stop worrying about other people and get your own life. If a few guys walking around in their revealing shorts , that probably only show off their calves, is really that disgusting then move to Alaska, I'm sure you'd fit right in there. Or better yet, move to Cali, from the sound of it you would probably walk off the plane and be so flustered you'd shit in place.
This is about as idiotic as saying women should only be seen in dresses and high heels.
Please do not presume to tell men what to wear, and we men shall not presume to tell women what to wear.
Tolerance is a beautiful virtue and it is on the wane in favor of a pseudo-hip, but profoundly intolerant, anti-urbane, and childish presumption on the part of women that it is somehow liberated to start dictating what men shall or shall not wear.
Those men misinterpreted her comment as "controlling" what men should or should not wear. So those men are offensive by her comment that "men should not wear shorts."
Let us look at some other examples:
- When a women tells a man that men should not wear socks with sandals, the man is offended. He would think that she is controlling him, but, in reality, she is just constructively criticizing. She is just saying that men who wear socks with sandals look unattractive to women, so men should avoid wearing them if their intention is to attract women.
- When a man tells a woman that she should wear a dress, she would call him a "sexist" out of frustration. However, what the man really is doing is just giving his opinion on what women look good in.
This example has demonstrated that people do judge others to be "controlling" when they are not. So :I am not "controlling" at all. Case closed.
But they still might think I am "arrogant" for telling women to wear heels.
Yes, indeed I told them that wearing heels would make them look attractive.
The irony is that I, personally, do not find heels to be the most attractive footwear! In fact, I find strappy sandals to look much better on women, than heels. I also find white Keds on women, much more attractive than heels.
So why did I not tell them to wear strappy sandals or white Keds, instead of heels? If I like strappy sandals and heels better on women, then why did I recommend heels rather than such alternatives?
It is beacuse the news said that Heels are the world's #1 fetish.
So I am telling that women look good in heels, not because I find them attractive, but because heels are the world's #1 fetish.
Therefore, I was not being arrogant at all. I knew that all men differ, so it is false to generalize my preferences to the male population. So I recommended heels even though I personally do not have a thing for them.
I have also posted a comment which said: "Men have a desire to dominate women in the bedroom."
Again, I do not have a desire for such things, but I am just saying that men generally like, not necessarily myself. But people tend to attribute stuff which I say to myself. That was wrong.
The irony is that I always had known that a few people would judge me for saying such things. I took the risk for writing out such things, and not clarifying. I expected a few people to judge me as "controlling," "sexist," "misogynist," "full of myself," and "selfish."
Disclaimer: I am not blaming you for judging me as "arrogant," "controlling," and "selfish." I already knew that a few will judge me in such ways, at the time that I was writing it. I had chosen not to clarify what I really meant at that time, and I was fully accepting to the fact that a few people will judge me in such ways.